Heart Rate Chronicles Part 1

I have been training according to my heart rate for a couple of weeks now.  I have really been struggling with the slow pace.  To be honest, it is a blow to my ego and I struggle to even write this post.  My training zones are as follows:

Every article about aerobic training for an athlete that hasn't done it tells stories of individuals who normally run 6:00 min/miles and once they start training in their heart rate zone, their pace slows to 9:00 min/miles.  My pace has slowed by 3 to 4 minutes per mile which is normal.  But as I shuffle down the trails I can't help but feel silly about what I am doing.  In time, I will be back to running 8:30 - 9:00 miles but this time in my zone 2. The challenge is getting myself there, having the patience to endure the slow pace.

This week I am in Flagstaff, AZ and have the most gorgeous trails right out my door.  Instead of enjoying them, I am looking over my shoulder hoping that the fast NAU athletes that passed earlier aren't laughing at me.

While the running is easier, I am having to dig deep to find mental and emotional strength.  I am feeling unathletic.  I feel like I am not working hard enough to train for an ultra.  I am worried that I will not be prepared.  I am feeling embarrassed by my running.  I am spending my runs hoping not to be seen by someone I know.

As I lay in bed tonight after my run, I ponder how to let go of my ego long enough to help myself be successful.  As always, time will tell.