Fighting the Despair of a Bruised Ego

I am a month into training in my heart rate zone and am feeling as discouraged as ever.  My pace remains sluggish.  Maybe even more so considering the increasing humidity we are experiencing as we enter monsoon season here in Phoenix.  What is most disheartening however is that I do not feel like a runner anymore.  I spend almost as much time walking because of an almost imperceptible incline in the road that forces me to slow or dehydration that takes its toll. 

During my long runs, I start really early, usually about 4:30 am.  I can run a reasonable pace for the first two hours, around 11:00 min/mile which is slow for me, but not a bad pace for a long training run.  Almost to the second, when I hit two hours, something happens and my heart rate will not stay down.  It begins climbing at even a shuffle of a run, so I am switch to a speed walk.  

It is not like me to get angry, but in this, I am getting angry.  I am sure this does nothing to help with my pace however since my anger likely causes my heart rate to only rise faster!  Looking for the good in journey is difficult, but I am determined and believe it can be done.

So what about this type of training keeps me coming back?  Why not just give up?

1. I believe in it.  I do believe that building a strong aerobic foundation will only serve me well as I continue to train for longer and longer distances.
2. I finish most runs feeling like I could keep going for hours more.  Rarely do I feel tired after any of my runs in the last month.  Hot and sweaty yes, but I also feel energized and ready to take on the day.  This is a great feeling.
3. It is not difficult to get up each morning and do it again.  Sometimes after a lot of tough runs, I find it challenging to have the energy or desire to get up and do it all over again the next day.  Knowing that a run will be easy makes getting up a heck of a lot easier.  And since running in the afternoon isn’t a great option in Phoenix, this is quite the bonus.
4. I am trimming down.  I am starting lose the last few stubborn pounds that I gained when I was in Wyoming (oh that is a whole other story….but needless to say, that was 4 years ago and I am just now getting back to my happy weight)
5. I am not feeling sore or getting injured even though I am putting in 40 mile weeks, which is a lot for me.  During Whiskey Basin Training, I did 3-4 weeks of 40 -50 miles and by the end of these weeks I was worn out.  Now I am doing 40 miles without even really feeling like I did much at all.

When the going gets tough, I will try to remember these benefits to keep me coming back for more and before I know it, 6 months will have passed and I will look back at this moment and think, “I sure am glad I didn’t quit when my ego got bruised.”