Don't Let Society Define Your Happiness

Society, an amorphous supposedly all-knowing being, tells us that happiness is owning your own home, landing a high paying job, getting married, having 2.5 children and a fancy car.  It is taking vacations to places like Disney World and wearing name brand clothes.  I’d like to call Society’s bluff.

Growing up, I quickly learned how to challenge norms.  My family is deeply religious and taught me that their beliefs were the right beliefs.  At a young age, I began to question the “truths” they held dear.  While these beliefs worked for them in their lives,  I couldn’t accept that what I was told was the only way to look at the world because none of their “truths” resonated with me.  It was difficult because I was often looked upon as a problem child and was likely the frequent topic of prayers to change me into a “better” person.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a knock on religion for it is a beautiful addition to many people's lives.  Rather it is a knock on the notion that any one religion or person has all the answers and that those answers MUST be the same for every unique one of us on this planet.

While I often long for a different past, I wouldn’t change my childhood for anything.  I am extremely grateful for how these experiences have shaped me as an adult.  The act of questioning the trusted adults in my life taught me to look at the world through different perspectives, to gain understanding of other’s views, and to think critically about what I hold true for me.  It has also helped me cultivate an attitude of curiosity rather than judgment.

This skill has come in handy as I define happiness is in my life.  Happiness for me is time with my family paddle boarding or hiking or camping or playing games.  It is spending time drinking a glass of wine while my husband holds me in his arms.  It is trail running for 5-6 hours on the weekend while spending time with Mother Nature.  It is teaching my boys to think for themselves, not telling them what to think.  It is leaving a meeting of people with all different opinions and agreeing on where we want to work together in an effort the world a better place.  

If I never become what Society says I should be, I will consider that a job well done.  Society and I are going to have to agree to disagree.  For you it will look different because you are your own unique being. I, nor anyone else, can tell you what and who and how you should be.  Only you can define you.