The Do's and Don'ts of Judgement

Judgement is an everyday part of life, taking on a personality and character all of its own.  It is an enticing figure walking down the road beckoning us to follow with its obsessive song as if it were the Pied Piper.  We merrily dance to its tune allowing our puppet strings to be pulled by this force that mistakenly makes us feel like we are in control.  Rather, we have given up our capacity to choose our own actions because we all too frequently pass  judgement on those around us and we do so without any careful consideration.

Judgement takes on many different disguises often hiding in plain sight.  It is tricky that way.  Sure it is glaring when we gossip about another person’s bad taste in clothes or their misshapen backside and most people know that this is a negative form of judgement.  However, consider this, have you ever yelled at another driver on the road because they cut you off?  Or have you ever shook your head at the mom who is carrying her screaming child out of the grocery store?  What about when you look in the mirror and start making plans for your next fitness routine?

When I started this post, I started by thinking about wanting to cast Judgement in the role of the villain.  Surprisingly, as my thoughts unfolded, I began to see the error of my own judgement of Judgement and realized as with most things, Judgement has a good and an evil side.  

Judgement is “the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and evaluating”.  When we use judgement after implementing critical thinking, weighing the pros and cons, “discerning and evaluating”, it can allow us to learn and grow from our experiences and the experiences of those around us.  But when we choose to use judgement to belittle others and hold ourselves in higher regard, we are only taking a step deeper into the muck. It is up to us to make a conscience effort to judge wisely.

The Dos and Don’ts of Judgement:

1. Do hold judgement in reserve and foster curiosity first and foremost.  Work on asking questions before forming an opinion.  Is it possible that the driver who cut me off is in a hurry to get home because his child just broke their leg?  We never know what is taking place in the lives of others so seek understanding.
2. Don’t hold onto your opinions too tightly.  Once you form an opinion, be open to the fact that new information may present itself that could change your opinion. Stand for open-mindedness rather than righteousness. 
3. Do allows others to have their own opinion.  Judgement turns wicked when we try to impose our thoughts onto others.  Everyone is on their own journey and what is right for them, may not be right for you.
4. Don’t take away the experience of discernment and evaluation from someone else.  Similar to #3, each person needs to form their own opinions and in order to do that in a positive way, he or she needs to walk down the road for themselves.  
5. Do allow yourself to use judgement to grow and learn from your actions. It is our judgement that decides if actions are good or bad. Whatever adverb you assign to your actions, use that decision to inform how you will move forward rather than dwelling on what did or didn't happen in the past.
6. Don't use judgement to belittle yourself or others. Honor yourself and those around you and repeat #1 whenever you are tempted to pass judgement!

Reserve Judgement ~ Foster Curiosity